...I've failed every mission to kill a demon. I haven't killed a single one.
( He notices her weird clumsiness through all of this, and his eyes do lift to watch her for a moment. But he looks tired, and doesn't remark on it. Of course he wouldn't. Shealtiel feels like he understands Azula at least... in some ways. And it's interesting, watching it like that.
But he knows it would be cruel and unnecessary to point anything out when she's only helping him. )
So sending me to try and kill the Prince of demons and his guardian would be a weird thing to have confidence in me for.
[And that sounded exactly like sending Zuko to find the Avatar that nobody had seen in a hundred years.
It was... odd, seeing it from this perspective, and it dredges up a lot of unpleasant thoughts and confusing emotions that she's been trying very hard not to think about. So she opts, instead, to focus on slicing the pulp of the leaf into thin strips, and it takes her slightly too-long to respond.]
Did you succeed?
[She finishes with the knife, sets it aside, and carries the aloe strips over to Shealtiel.]
Hand.
[It's not quite as harsh as her usual demanding tone, but apparently that's still as polite a... request...? as he's going to get.]
...No. My angelic weapon doesn't work on him because he has an angelic weapon, too. His guardian gave him one he must have stolen from a deceased angel.
( Shealtiel says all of this tiredly, quietly offering his burnt hand forward. It's bubbled and blistered in spots where his grip had been the most firm, with all of his skin looking quite angry. It makes the scarred back of the same hand look almost nice in comparison. )
And... He's different. He actually treats me nicely, even after seeing my wings. I don't really get why, but it seems like he wants to be friends.
[With her left hand, she grips the scarred back of his hand firmly, almost uncomfortably tightly. With the right, she presses a flat strip of aloe against his palm with a surprisingly gentle touch, lightly rubbing it over the burns to coat it in the aloe that weeps from the freshly cut plant flesh.]
If he's not an angel, why should he care if your wings are imperfect? Honestly, it sounds to me like your allegiance is to the wrong people.
["Well, look at this. Enemies and traitors all working together."
No. He's not-
Her hands shake, and she scowls and steadies them again.]
( Shealtiel winces slightly at both the hold and the application, but it’s more because of the conversation, honestly. It’s making his whole left side burn, and Azula’s insinuation sparks something like fear in him. He practically snarls as he spits out a quick reply. )
What would you know?
( But unlike other instances, he’s quick to relent, breathing a sigh out slowly through his teeth as his eyebrows furrow. He looks bothered, uncomfortable, and afraid. )
…I can’t explain everything I’m dealing with right now, but if I’m not supposed to… be with angels, then everything I dealt with in my past would be pointless.
I can’t believe that… It can’t have been for nothing.
I shouldn’t have started rambling about this. It’s my problem to sort out.
[Ah, good, petulant outrage, because there weren't enough reminders of Zuko in this conversation. Still, the reaction... surprises her.
It makes no sense. He makes no sense.
She says nothing, she just continues applying the gelatinous ooze from the plant to his burns, ignoring his winces of pain- a fortunate side effect of being a monster, she supposes. This is for his own good, after all. Finally, she pulls the stripped leaf away and lets go of his hand, moving to throw the spent strip of aloe flesh away.
Hopefully that would at least soothe the pain now that she was done, not that she particularly cared at this point. Of course he didn't trust her, it was one of the first intelligent choices he'd ever made. No matter how irrational he was being. Why did this bother her so much? Why did she care if the pathetic fool was so blindly loyal to these people who didn't care about him? It was his own stupid choice, after all.
( He doesn’t know why she doesn’t react to any of his comments, and the seeds of fear already planted inside of him begin to sprout. Shealtiel shifts his hand over to look at the applied substance, already noting the slight soothing sensation beneath the stings.
Even that plant is more useful than him. His frown deepens, and as he lowers his hands back to his lap and sits up a little more, he swallows hard. )
Azula, are you mad at me?
( The way he asks is terribly small and pathetic, like a child. He barely forces himself to make eye contact, and his eyes, though there are only two of them now, manage to look almost like a puppy’s. )
[... That wasn't at all the question she'd expected, and she meets his eyes for a few silent moments, finally breaking eye contact as she responds.]
Don't be ridiculous. You're the one who snapped, remember?
[And there it was again. She hadn't even had to say anything. Making people miserable, driving them away, again, like always, even when she was trying to-
She wasn't sure what she was trying to do, actually. Treat his injuries, she supposes. Make them even. Whatever it was, she'd failed at it. She used to be good at things before she came to this awful city. Now, even when she's trying to help, all she can manage to do is hurt and frighten people.
Monster.
Rrgh. And this fool thought he was a- she was right there, he should be able to see the difference, the useless idiot.]
( He snaps that out, then pauses, realizing his own mistake and pursing his lips slightly over it. )
Okay, maybe I snapped a little.
( It's a muttered admission, but it's one all the same, even as he's wringing his fingers together in his own lap. )
I'm tired of people telling me what I should or shouldn't want. I just need... time. To decide for myself. ( He's clearly lost in some sort of thought, finding it difficult to look back at her. )
[Diffident again, but rather than frustration she feels relief again.]
You were telling me about angels.
[Or, rather, how the angels were preying on him for their own purposes, and he was foolishly loyal to them-
"Father... regrets? He... wants me back?" She heard the surprise, the aching hope in her brother's voice, and she kept the smirk of satisfaction from reaching her face-
Azula suddenly shuts the water off, a little more forcefully than she needs to and wheels to face him, keeping her expression carefully neutral again.]
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no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 03:40 am (UTC)( He notices her weird clumsiness through all of this, and his eyes do lift to watch her for a moment. But he looks tired, and doesn't remark on it. Of course he wouldn't. Shealtiel feels like he understands Azula at least... in some ways. And it's interesting, watching it like that.
But he knows it would be cruel and unnecessary to point anything out when she's only helping him. )
So sending me to try and kill the Prince of demons and his guardian would be a weird thing to have confidence in me for.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 08:47 am (UTC)It was... odd, seeing it from this perspective, and it dredges up a lot of unpleasant thoughts and confusing emotions that she's been trying very hard not to think about. So she opts, instead, to focus on slicing the pulp of the leaf into thin strips, and it takes her slightly too-long to respond.]
Did you succeed?
[She finishes with the knife, sets it aside, and carries the aloe strips over to Shealtiel.]
Hand.
[It's not quite as harsh as her usual demanding tone, but apparently that's still as polite a... request...? as he's going to get.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-10 04:17 am (UTC)( Shealtiel says all of this tiredly, quietly offering his burnt hand forward. It's bubbled and blistered in spots where his grip had been the most firm, with all of his skin looking quite angry. It makes the scarred back of the same hand look almost nice in comparison. )
And... He's different. He actually treats me nicely, even after seeing my wings. I don't really get why, but it seems like he wants to be friends.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-10 04:32 am (UTC)If he's not an angel, why should he care if your wings are imperfect? Honestly, it sounds to me like your allegiance is to the wrong people.
["Well, look at this. Enemies and traitors all working together."
No. He's not-
Her hands shake, and she scowls and steadies them again.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-10 05:17 am (UTC)What would you know?
( But unlike other instances, he’s quick to relent, breathing a sigh out slowly through his teeth as his eyebrows furrow. He looks bothered, uncomfortable, and afraid. )
…I can’t explain everything I’m dealing with right now, but if I’m not supposed to… be with angels, then everything I dealt with in my past would be pointless.
I can’t believe that… It can’t have been for nothing.
I shouldn’t have started rambling about this. It’s my problem to sort out.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-10 05:27 am (UTC)It makes no sense. He makes no sense.
She says nothing, she just continues applying the gelatinous ooze from the plant to his burns, ignoring his winces of pain- a fortunate side effect of being a monster, she supposes. This is for his own good, after all. Finally, she pulls the stripped leaf away and lets go of his hand, moving to throw the spent strip of aloe flesh away.
Hopefully that would at least soothe the pain now that she was done, not that she particularly cared at this point. Of course he didn't trust her, it was one of the first intelligent choices he'd ever made. No matter how irrational he was being. Why did this bother her so much? Why did she care if the pathetic fool was so blindly loyal to these people who didn't care about him? It was his own stupid choice, after all.
Finally, she mutters,]
Were there any more burns?
no subject
Date: 2022-10-10 05:37 am (UTC)( He doesn’t know why she doesn’t react to any of his comments, and the seeds of fear already planted inside of him begin to sprout. Shealtiel shifts his hand over to look at the applied substance, already noting the slight soothing sensation beneath the stings.
Even that plant is more useful than him. His frown deepens, and as he lowers his hands back to his lap and sits up a little more, he swallows hard. )
Azula, are you mad at me?
( The way he asks is terribly small and pathetic, like a child. He barely forces himself to make eye contact, and his eyes, though there are only two of them now, manage to look almost like a puppy’s. )
no subject
Date: 2022-10-10 06:02 am (UTC)Don't be ridiculous. You're the one who snapped, remember?
[And there it was again. She hadn't even had to say anything. Making people miserable, driving them away, again, like always, even when she was trying to-
She wasn't sure what she was trying to do, actually. Treat his injuries, she supposes. Make them even. Whatever it was, she'd failed at it. She used to be good at things before she came to this awful city. Now, even when she's trying to help, all she can manage to do is hurt and frighten people.
Monster.
Rrgh. And this fool thought he was a- she was right there, he should be able to see the difference, the useless idiot.]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-23 05:13 am (UTC)( He snaps that out, then pauses, realizing his own mistake and pursing his lips slightly over it. )
Okay, maybe I snapped a little.
( It's a muttered admission, but it's one all the same, even as he's wringing his fingers together in his own lap. )
I'm tired of people telling me what I should or shouldn't want. I just need... time. To decide for myself. ( He's clearly lost in some sort of thought, finding it difficult to look back at her. )
You seemed angry about me running in there.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-23 07:19 am (UTC)[... Oops. Okay, too harsh. She moderates the tone a bit as she disposes of the remaining slices of aloe.]
Rushing into a burning building just to save one person, with no plan and no equipment? Of course I was annoyed.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-03 06:20 am (UTC)Didn't you do the same thing to save me, though?
( At least it makes his hands relax in his lap after all the fidgeting. )
no subject
Date: 2023-01-03 07:08 am (UTC)And then she goes and begins washing her hands, speaking in a more typically neutral tone.]
I can control fire. I don't need equipment, and I had a plan.
[...which would have sounded a lot more convincing if the last word hadn't come out in a slightly raspy hiss that nearly ended in another cough.]
no subject
Date: 2023-01-03 07:43 am (UTC)R-right! What I said was that it was completely different, haha...
( Ahem. Clearing his throat, and coughing a little more from it, he stands, moving to see how Azula is doing at this point. )
Anyway... I think I got a little off track of everything.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-03 08:02 am (UTC)You were telling me about angels.
[Or, rather, how the angels were preying on him for their own purposes, and he was foolishly loyal to them-
"Father... regrets? He... wants me back?" She heard the surprise, the aching hope in her brother's voice, and she kept the smirk of satisfaction from reaching her face-
Azula suddenly shuts the water off, a little more forcefully than she needs to and wheels to face him, keeping her expression carefully neutral again.]